It is beyond me that it is somehow already December of 2020. Where has this year gone? Do you agree? I’m not sure if it’s the increased isolation, the heaviness of a pandemic no one was mentally prepared for, or the multiple other urgent and newsworthy events that have filled this year, but 2020 just feels full and fast. With that said, none of us would say this year has been perfect. It’s been far from it. But on a personal note, have you checked in with yourself lately? Despite what’s happening around you, are you still expecting perfection from yourself? Perfectionism or all-or-none mentality goes hand in hand. It’s the expectations that we need to be 100% on, fully invested, and doing exactly what’s necessary (what’s “perfect”) to achieve anything. We begin to believe that if we are anything less or bring anything less than the ideal, perfect solution, then we might as well not try. Alongside our humanness, we can never be perfect though, so we land on nothing. Over and over again.
At the beginning of this year, I’m sure you had some goals in mind. “Resolution” oriented or not, the New Year brings a feeling of refreshment, and with that, we often experience new desires or dreams for what’s ahead. Can you remember what you wanted at the start of this year?
Now let me ask you, has an all-or-none mentality, or perfectionism stopped you from achieving your 2020 goals? Sitting in my own honesty, in part, I would answer yes to that question. Not in everything, but in some things I’ve certainly let perfectionism define the outcome (or better yet, lack thereof). If you’re alongside me in this, can I just encourage you? Perfectionism is the greatest lie we buy into. All-or-nothing holds us back by cornering us to never even try in the first place. If 2020 didn’t go as you planned because your expectations of self, or others, was too high, it’s okay. Grace can be welcome here.
Now, what if, for these next 30 days, this last little bit of 2020, you took a deep breath, let go of what was, and just decided to do your best for the remainder of the year. And what if you didn’t put high expectations or rigid rules about what that looked like or exactly what it needed to be? What if you just took it one day at a time, determined to do your best, with what you have, in the place that you are?
When 2021 arrives, can I challenge you to set perfectionism aside? It doesn't need to be a brand new life, a brand new goal, or a brand new transformation. Progress happens more in the “I’ll do my best”, than in the “I have to get this perfect” mentality.
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Here's to your success now, exactly where you are (not where you think you need to be),